And Really Bad Pick Up Lines
by futbalfreak18
Summary: In a way, this is the beginning of all of the Doctor Who stories I've posted. This explains how the fourth Doctor meets up with the ninth Doctor and Rose, and how a love triangle ensues.


And Really Bad Pick Up Lines

By futbalfreak18

In my trail of stories this is the first. It introduces the fourth Doctor into the same realm as the ninth Doctor and Rose because the three of them are the bomb-diggity. This is my explanation for how they got together for the rest of my stories. And the Phantom of the Opera leaks in a little bit too! Yay!

I lay absolutely no claim on any parts of Doctor Who. -now utterly sobbing in corner-

* * *

"Rose, BUCKET!"

The Doctor could yell really loudly couldn't he? Rose quickly grabbed the blue bucket from just inside the TARDIS door. It was filled with some gobbledy-gook that was apparently very special and potent. Except whenever the Doctor tried to explain it, he would talk at ninety miles an hour and then stare at her as if she'd just dribbled saliva on her shirt when her eyes glazed over. It was at these times that Rose knew that she was only as smart as the next rock when compared to the Doctor. Nevertheless, she could deal with it because afterwards he'd always get this cute, confused expression on his face. She liked that. He would always look out for her. But back to business. Bucket…Monster…Melt Monster…Save World. Just an average day. Maybe they could go out for chips later.

She made a sharp right. Oh, look there went the Doctor…going the…other way. Oh, and there went…the monster…in the other…direction.

"Rose?" the Doctor called.

"Doctor?" Rose replied.

"ARRRGGHH!" the monster roared.

Rose skidded to a halt and made a 180 degree turn. The blue sludge in the bucket sloshed, almost spilling over. Rose took off at a decent clip back the way she came until she came out on the main hallway. There were what seemed like dozens of doors on either side. Some were open and others were shut. Rose tended to think they were in a hospital of some sort. Or maybe it was just the Winchester Mansion. The TARDIS had materialized in one of the rooms with the monster just outside the door waiting to be chased.

One of the doors to her right suddenly flew open and the Doctor came out at a sprint with the monster right behind. Then he disappeared into the adjacent door. No more than thirty seconds later the monster came out again, this time about 100 feet farther down the hallway being chased by the Doctor who had is sonic screwdriver out and was grinning. Rose sat the bucket down and took a seat on the floor next to it. This was going to take a while.

First the Doctor would lead, and then the monster, then the Doctor, then the monster. Back and forth, back and forth. Up and down and all around. Rose was sure she had sat there for a full ten minutes when suddenly the monster came out of the door to her right. She felt an alien knee knock into her shoulder before the monster was flying over her and the bucket into the door on her left. The alien was fairly humanoid, but was brown had a head with dozens of thin tentacles hanging off. Reacting quickly, she threw the bucket's contents onto the alien who appeared to have been knocked out by the blow. She smiled. That was easy. She looked up into the Doctor's beaming face who offered her a hand up. They wrapped their arms around each other and looked back at the alien…who was melting?

The Doctor looked back at her in shock.

"What bucket did you use?"

"The one inside the TARDIS door like you said." She held it up. "See, the blue one."

"I said use the red one!" His face contorted into a mask of worry at what he had done. Not fear, because the Doctor didn't feel fear (unless Rose was involved), but Rose watched with horror as the Doctor looked back at their victim. His face had turned stormy in an instant, and a definitive scowl marked his countenance. Finally, Rose looked down at the alien. Who was now a human!? The alien now had bushy hair, big teeth, and the longest scarf in the history of the galaxy and beyond. The now masculine facial features were covered with the blue goop Rose had thrown only a few moments earlier.

The alien opened its eyes slowly and looked up at Rose. It leant towards her, and a big grin split across its face.

"Hi, I'm the Doctor. Would you like a jelly baby?"

Another Doctor! Okay, well her Doctor couldn't blame this one on her. There were lots of buckets to choose from. Blue…Red…ok maybe it is hard to get those mixed up, but at least she hadn't grabbed the green one, right?

Her Doctor glared at the other Doctor who was still sitting on the floor.

"This is my fourth regeneration, although what he is doing here I don't know." His voice was low and forceful. Her Doctor lifted the other up by his collar. "But we can't just leave him here. Back to the TARDIS."

The three trudged their way back to the TARDIS. Rose's Doctor was thoroughly cheesed, the new Doctor was thoroughly dirty, and Rose was thoroughly confused. Another Doctor? Although she had to admit that he was good-looking in his own quirky kind of way. Somehow the big nose, large teeth, elephant ears, curly hair, and giant scarf were enough negatives that they made a positive. A VERY nice positive. Rose tried to casually admire the new Doctor who was standing between herself and her Doctor. Why did her Doctor hate him so much? He seemed all right. Very jovial.

Rose was still lost in thought when they arrived back at the TARDIS. She hadn't even noticed that the entire way had been passed in silence. They filed through the TARDIS door where her Doctor began to fiddle with the main console, completely ignoring both of them. Rose looked over to the other Doctor who was still covered in muck and muttering something about redecorating. Grabbing his wrist she pulled him into the nearest bathroom out of the many the TARDIS had.

"I s'pose we better get you cleaned up while the Doctor's feel'n quiet, yeah?" Rose asked.

"Sounds splendid" he responded in a deep baritone.

They walked into a large modern bathroom, with the black sink above the counter surface and a shower head that had all of the best features. That was Rose's favorite bit. A good hot shower was the best way to end a long day of aliens and new planets. Rose had to admit though, that she had often wished that her Doctor would join her in the shower. It was obvious he liked her, but he still hadn't made his move. Rose didn't know how much longer she could wait.

Turning back to the new Doctor who was now sitting on the black counter top next to the sink, she pulled out a washcloth from a mirror cabinet and wet it before she began scrubbing the Doctor's face.

"Time for the proper application of water, nature's ultimate solvent." she said.

"He seems to have rubbed off on you. Companions always seem to become a bit like their Doctor" he smirked. Rose felt a warmth grow in her stomach, at the comment. She was so distracted by the compliment, that she didn't question how he knew her Doctor so well.

"Well, everything scientific I know I learned from Grumpy in there. Do you know why he is so angry?" Rose couldn't believe she'd just said that. She shouldn't be talking about her Doctor with this Doctor. And why was she washing his face? Men could wash their own faces.

"Well, all the regenerations hate each other. It's just natural to hate other parts of yourself."

Rose wasn't sure it was "natural", but she had never regenerated either. Who was she to say? And why was she still washing his face?

"You know," the Doctor said pulling her a little closer by the bottom of her pink jacket, "I think I like you. In fact, do you have a map because I just got lost in your eyes."

Rose smirked, "That was a terrible line and you know it". Although, she had to admit the sentiment seemed genuine, especially as she saw a blush rising in his cheeks.

"Never trust a robotic dog to give you good lines", he responded. "But your hand is still on my cheek, and I think that all of the anforal-glucomamine-acubaforal was rubbed off at least a minute ago." The Doctor's mouth seemed to be struggling between a broad smile, and an embarrassed half-smirk.

Now Rose could feel a blush coloring her own face. She didn't even notice the use of an extremely long and complicated word, which was usually a turn off for her. Apparently, this Doctor had just as much charm as her Doctor.

Rose closed her eyes as the Doctor's warm lips brushed against her own. It was soft and gentle and questioning all at the same time. That was fast, she thought. She'd only met him what, thirty minutes ago? She had always been a sucker for the confident ones. She felt his arms circle about her waist and draw her closer, but the kiss remained sweet and gentle. They pulled away after a moment and Rose dashed from the room. This was going to cause problems for sure.

Rose had finally kissed the Doctor, and she had to admit it was a rather nice kiss, but it wasn't her Doctor! But if her Doctor was just a regeneration of this Doctor it was like kissing her own Doctor, right? Rose slumped to the floor of the TARDIS, and sat cross-legged. She was back in the main console room, but her Doctor had gone -thank goodness-. Rose always tried to stay near this room because she was afraid if she went too far into the TARDIS she would be lost forever. She closed her eyes, and tried to relax. Obviously, this new Doctor didn't belong in this time -a space-time warp?- so he'd leave soon, right? But did she really want him to leave?

Sounds were coming from the kitchen, so Rose headed that way. Inside the typical suburbia kitchen, Rose found her Doctor sitting at the table steadily boring a hole into the floor with his gaze and the new Doctor rummaging through the pantry. All of the cupboard doors were flung open and various foodstuffs were spread out on the counter.

"You moved my jelly baby stash" said the new Doctor. Rose's Doctor only snorted and continued to look at the hardwood floor. Rose looked towards the new Doctor just as he was removing the dried and canned fruits from the pantry. He threw a box of dates onto the top of the pile, and Rose's mouth began to water. She loved dates. The fruit was smooshy, yet firm, and sweet, but not too sweet. She especially loved pulling out the seed and then dropping it down the Doctor's shirt when he wasn't looking. He'd get this expression of shock on his face, and then dance around trying to get it out. It never failed to make Rose giggle. He was so cute.

"Can I have a date?" she asked. Both of the Doctors' faces turned to hers, their countenances lighting up, and ears perking.

"Fantastic." said her Doctor. "Today's Monday, so let's go Friday night."

"Well if he's going with you on Friday, how about we go on Thursday." said the new Doctor, not to be outdone.

"You know, on second thought Rose, we better go Wednesday."

"No, no, my mistake did I say Thursday? I meant tomorrow."

"Or how about we go right now, Rose?" the two Doctors said together. Rose, more than a little surprised, just smiled and nodded. A date would be nice, especially a date with TWO Doctors. Especially, when all she had wanted was some fruit.

The two Doctors raced back to the main control room, but Rose's Doctor got there first his slightly longer legs giving him the lead. Quickly, he pulled some levers, twisted some knobs, pushed a big button, and off they went.

"Aww, I wanted to pick where we went" said the fourth Doctor.

"Driver picks destination, and since I'm the latest driver I got to pick" retorted Rose's Doctor. Rose watched as a big grin creased her Doctor's face. Apparently, not even the other Doctor's presence could ruin his happiness at getting to go on a date with her.

"Well, since you're our designated driver I guess you won't get to drink when we get there" jabbed the fourth Doctor.

Rose didn't get to see her Doctor's reaction as the TARDIS lurched and sent all three of them into the wall. That was the fastest trip Rose had ever been on in the TARDIS. Even she was excited about the date.

"Now," Rose's Doctor said, "You, Rose, need to go and get changed. You're going to need to go into the third dressing room and pick something okay?" Rose nodded. The third dressing room? But the only things in there were… Rose barely saw her Doctor as he dragged away the fourth Doctor into a separate dressing room.

Twenty minutes later, Rose returned to the main console room to find both of her Doctors (they were BOTH hers now weren't they). The fourth Doctor was dressed in black formal wear with gold accents and a lion's mask covering his nose and eyes. The other Doctor was dressed in identical formal wear, but instead his mask was of simple black fabric and hung tight against his face. And herself? Rose was wearing a dress similar to the one she had worn when they had met Dickens, but this one had a black lace halter top and a silver slit down the side. Her mask was also black, but had feathers around the sides.

"Now, I know we're going to a maskerade," she said "but where at? And when?" Both of the Doctor's faces had grins on from ear to ear. Now that she looked, it was the exact same grin on their faces. Rose smiled at the thought.

Rose's Doctor pushed open the TARDIS door and led her into the cool night. With a Doctor on each arm, Rose walked to building in front of them. The massive structure was absolutely glowing with lights, and a steady line of carriages was out front. Rose heard a whisper in her ear.

"This," began her Doctor, "This is the Paris Opera at the end of the 19th century." Rose's jaw dropped.

"You're joking, right?" she asked. The Doctor's smile only grew broader. The next few moments were passed in a flurry of excitement for Rose. The trio was allowed into the maskerade through the clever use of psychic paper, and then they were off. Rose danced to every song, first with one Doctor and then with the other. Whichever was left out would usually lean reluctantly against a wall and refuse to dance with anyone else. Although Rose was rather peeved at all of the attention they were getting. They were by far some of the most sought after men at the place.

Finally, Rose had to take a break. She was dancing with her Doctor for what seemed like the twentieth song in a row. It was a nice, slow song. She let her head rest against his chest and closed her eyes trusting him to keep her from falling. But Rose was woken up when she felt the gentle press of kiss into her hair. She could fell the heat rising in her cheeks.

"Rose," the Doctor said, "I know your head is on my chest, but if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Rose pulled away so she could look up into his face.

"That's a terrible line and you know it" she said quietly. The Doctor looked crestfallen for a moment, but brightened up immediately as Rose pulled him closer, fulfilling his wish. They were like that for the rest of the song, but then the fourth Doctor pulled her aside as Rose's Doctor was dragged away by someone called "little Jammes".

"Rose, you look dead tired" said the fourth Doctor. He pulled her into one of the halls leading away from the main room. "You wait here, for a moment."

The Doctor was only gone for a few minutes when Rose felt rough fuzz brush against her eyelids, cutting off her sight. She then felt the scarf being wrapped around her neck, before it was lifted from her eyes. Turning she saw the Doctor not even a foot away.

"You looked cold" he said. "And there are lots of things you can do with a scarf." The Doctor's arms reached up to pull her closer by her waist. Rose then leaned into him, and felt his head rest on top of hers. The same exact move, huh? Rose kinda liked it though.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Rose vaguely remembered her Doctor joining them, and then the three of them returning to the TARDIS. There was a hot shower before she quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Rose woke up and looked around. She was in a large king-sized bed. The fourth Doctor was sprawled on the floor, and her Doctor was lying on a couch that was pushed against the wall. She was dressed in one of her Doctor's shirts and some fleece pants that must have come from the dressing room. The dress and mask lay on a side table. As she sat up, the bed creaked, and both Doctors woke up.

"Rose", they said in unison.

"Doctors." She looked at both of them. "Y'know this bed is awfully big, and awfully cold." She gave a coy smirk.

The Doctors looked at her with questioning expressions, both about to ask the same thing.

"And y'know I think its going to take both of you." she said her smile growing. The two shared a quick glare and scowl before climbing into bed. The fourth Doctor gave her a big grin and a kiss on the cheek, before her Doctor hugged her tight and kissed her hair.

"I love you" they said.

"I love you too" she replied. Whoever said she couldn't have two Doctors?

"Oh, and one more thing." Rose said looking out of the corner of her eye at her Doctor. "I think I'm going to need a good, hot shower soon." She winked, and the Doctor's smile could've reached from Gallifrey to Raxacoricofallipatorius and back again.

Afterwards, Rose dressed in jeans and a pink jacket, hair still slightly wet from her utterly delightful shower, and moved towards the kitchen. As she came closer, she heard voices from inside.

"And did you ever hear the one 'If I'm the Titanic will you be my iceburg, and I'll go down on you.'"

"Well, I don't remember at least. But how about the one 'If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?' That would be a fantastic one."

"That one gets good results, bet the best is the classic, 'I'll protect you till the day I die.'" By this time Rose had settled in the doorway, but the Doctors were oblivious to her presence.

"One of my favorites, 'I wish I were a tear so I could start in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your lips.'"

" My best, 'I think I need to call heavan because they've lost one of their angels.'" Rose stepped forward.

"And if I followed you home, would you keep me?" she asked. She could use bad pick up lines too. The Doctors' heads whipped around, and they both had the exact same smile.

"I think you already have." Her Doctor replied.

"Yeah, but what about you Doctor," she said as she looked at the other, "This is not your time, so how'd you get here? Because I need you too, now y'know." The fourth Doctor's face grew even brighter, as the other's turned a little dark at hearing that last sentence. But only a little, because you can't go for very long and not like the fourth Doctor a little even if he is your earlier regeneration.

"I was brought here by some force, but I can't tell you what it was or why. I was just following the signs."

"What?"

"All across time and space, the words 'Bad Wolf' have been appearing. Now you can't just leave signs like that and not expect them to be followed. So I was traveling in my TARDIS, after leaving Leela on Gallifrey, and suddenly I was covered in goop at your feet. That's all I know. But until I find the source of Bad Wolf, I guess I'll be traveling with you." He smiled at Rose, as her Doctor let out an audible groan.

Rose thought for a moment. TWO Doctors? TWO sexy men in one small -well not really- TARDIS? For who knows how long? She could get used to that. In fact, -although it would take enormous time and effort- she could probably even learn to like it. She smiled to herself, and giving both Doctors a kiss on the cheek which made them both blush, she sat herself down a delicious breakfast of eggy-in-a-basket and dates. And maybe a side of Doctors afterward.

Some extras really bad ones too cute not to share

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk past you again.

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

If I had a nickel for every girl as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

There is a star in the sky for every time I think of you.


End file.
